Musings by Wayne Yoder

Just past Iresha's school we meet the primary community development coordinator at the junction of 2 dirt roads. I would say we are in the boon docks! This is Nowheresville! The coordinator gets in and we backtrack about 1k and stop along side the dirt road because we have come to the path which leads to Iresha's home. But just as we get out and are about to begin walking, Iresha's father comes bouncing along at a good clip on his bicycle, all smiles, a handsome, pleasant man. He seems thrilled to see us and says if we follow him he will show us a road that can get us closer to his home. So he takes off on his bike and we follow. Soon we come to the 'road' he spoke of, turned and headed on even more slowly. Fortunately we have a 4 wheel drive. This is barely a bicylcle path - and a rutted, washed out track at that. We pick our way along and get to a point where we can't go anymore, get out and walk.

We walk past a rice paddie, some corn, and a couple cows. It is a thrill to come around a bend and into a partial clearing where Iresha's home is. I see much of the extended family all there looking our direction and waiting. They of course know we are coming and Iresha has stayed out of school this day for our meeting. I glance around to see if I can see Iresha, noticing my heart rate has picked up a bit, and see her come walking toward me with a smile on her face. I can not describe the feeling of joy I experienced at this moment, and don't quite know what to do or say. Iresha doesn't speak but a couple words of English and this illiterate American speaks O of her language. But Iresha knows what to do, knows the customs. She walks up to me with about a dozen betel leaves and hands them to me. This is the traditional welcome. Then she get down on her knees, folds her hands together and bows to the ground at my feet. Needless to say, this feels very awkward to me, but again this is the custom. I still don't quite know what to say or do but i gather, with VJ's motions that i am to return the betel leaves to Iresha, which i do

I realize I can't stop looking at this beautiful little girl and want to just sit quietly with her, but this is not to be. I meet her mother then too whom I recognize from previous pictures. She as well is a very attractive young woman with a smile like her daughter's. But Iresha! I feel an immediate connection with her and her lovely energy. I want to pick her up and hug her for a long time, but I do control myself!! She reminds me too of Brooke, my granddaughter, and they are the same age. Two months apart. Like Brooke she is slender, sensitive, a little shy at first, very pretty and will interact with you.

The entire extended family is standing around watching everything and entering in some, talking among themselves, gesturing. All seem quite joyful at what is taking place. With Wijedosa's OK, I decide to give Iresha the gifts I have brought along. First I give her Brooke's school picture and explain that they are the same age and that before I left the States I told Brooke where I was going and would be visiting Iresha. Would she like to send a gift along of something of hers for Iresha. She said she would and found a stuffed animal to send along. I give this stuffed animal to Iresha. Iresha is also quite a good artist judging from some of the drawings she sent to me so I brought along some water based paints and brushes as well as a stack of water color paper. This is followed with pencils, a pen and and a handfull of baloons, a few of which I give to her 3 year old brother. I notice Iresha immediately gives some of her baloons to the other children. Well, I also brought along a box of chocolate covered cookines and finally a blues (blues here??) harmonica in its case. She doesn't hesitate to blow on it with a little encouragement. And smiles, which she does a lot of. I then give a piece of wool material to Mother which can be used for many things.

Iresha indicates a thank you for the gifts. With the language barrier, it is a little uncertain what to do next, but it all comes together. I ask Iresha if she would walk with me and show me around. We walk hand in hand and look at different things - papaya and banana trees, passion fruit, and I chatter away, nothing of which she can understand directly but perhaps pointing here and there she gets some of the gist. We take some pics along the way. Iresha gets in her improvised swing. We look at the corn which they grow and use for grinding into flower with a mortar and pestle to make bread. All the while the extended family follows us at a respectful distance. They seem to know this is primarily time for Iresha and me to get acquainted.

So these moments are precious and very special to me. I feel like I have another granddaughter whom I love dearly. My heart is warm and full and remains so. Iresha walks me through her house which consists of a kitchen/storage area, a bedroom and a living/dining room. The house is a simple rectangular shaped mud brick house with a thatched roof. It all appears neat and as clean as one might hope for with no cement floor. It is homey, pleasant and welcoming. Plan has also built the family a toilet as they have for many families. I would feel quite comfortable living in Iresha's home. It is very simple but enough.

We all sit down in the living area. Little Iresha sits on a chair beside me and shows me her school work in the different subjects. Along with her usual subjects she is also beginning to learn a little English. The table beside us is full with fruits and some sweets made by Mother. She also makes us a delicious passon fruit drink. Yum! We eat some of the fruit and sweets as we 'talk.' The maternal grandparents are here too and I take some photos of them with Iresha. They are very fond of Iresha. I've learned to that it often makes an even better, more solid connection when I pull out photos of my family so I pass those around and give a picture of Sydney, my youngest granddaughter, to the little son who is her age. The parents point out a framed photo hanging on the wall of Rose , Chelsea, and me that we had sent to them for Christmas. All the ladies keep looking at the pics and chattering animatedly with each other.

I kow the time is coming for me to leave Iresha and these dear people. I can feel the emotion rising up as I am aware that I really don't want to leave, so the leaving is emotional for me. It takes all the strength I have not to just sit down on the spot and weep both for joy and not wanting to leave Iresha and her family. Iresha brings a big plastic bag full lof different kinds of fruit, sweets and traditional food for me as a parting gift. Then she bows on the ground again as is the custom. I can't resist giving here a big hug so i do and VJ takes a couple pics of us hugging - or me hugging Iresha! I don't think she quite knows what to do with this show of affection. Tears well up. The mother, father and I say goodby as do all the rest of the family.

As we walk away from the family, there are lots of waves and goodbyes. The father walks with us to the Landcruiser. We talk some about his crops. He has two cows as well. At the vehicle he and I say goodby again and I can't resist spontaneously giving him a hug too..

Again, I am deeply moved by this loving, happy, giving Buddhist family who live very simply and yet seem to be lacking nothing. Whewwww......what a day. My heart remains full and I have been given such an immeasureable gift.

I think of a statement made by Sai Baba, an Indian man who has given so much in charity to people by way of schools, health care, a state of the art hospital, etc.

"Charity is cruelty unless one heart meets another in warm fraternity."

I hope that our hearts have met at least in a small way in 'warm fraternity,' not only with Iresha and her family but with the kind, generous and hard working dedicated folks that I have been fortunate to meet at Plan International both in Kandy and Badulla.